Boxing Day

           Mike Tyson’s life can best be summed up as an enigma wrapped in a conundrum aboard a crazy train. And it only costs $75 to see him talk about it from the cheap seats.

            Tyson looks to show the world “The Undisputed Truth.” A 90 minute one man show starring Kid Dynamite is coming to Broadway on July 31. The play itself consists of Tyson talking about his life, and rollercoaster moments.

The Baddest Man on the Planet talked about his upcoming play on Pardon the Interruption. During the interview, Tyson’s quips were spontaneous. His answers were candid. And his audience ate it up like someone’s first meal after fasting.

Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon watched with glee as Tyson told a hilarious tale of his ex-wife, Brad Pitt, and a wet noodle. That story is one of several anecdotes that make up the 1,000,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that is Mike Tyson.

Tyson’s life can be summed up by one memorable, yet bizarre quote. In a post fight interview in 2000, Tyson said “My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious, I want his heart, I want to eat his children, praise be to Allah!” Tyson was both dominant and uncontrolled in the ring. His legend and infamy are why his life story will be a hit.

The curtain would rise and the play would start with Tyson’s childhood. His early years were tales straight out of poverty documentaries. Tyson was arrested 38 times by the time he was 13. Iron Mike’s mother died when he was 16 and his father was never in the picture. He met Muhammad Ali in juvenile detention in 1976.

The second act could start with Iron Mike’s professional debut at 18. He enjoyed dominance in the ring and dreaded controversy outside of it. While Tyson won 26 of his first 28 fights by knockout, he later became a convicted rapist at 26.

After being sentenced in 1992, the Baddest Man on the Planet began to lose; in and out of the ring. Evander Hollyfield beat him twice in 1996 and 1997. In 1999, Tyson went back to prison for assaulting two motorists. In 2003, Tyson filed for bankruptcy and retired in 2005.

            The curtain would fall on his boxing career and fast forward to 2009. Director Todd Phillips resurrected Tyson and made him a movie star at 43. Knocking out Zack Galifanakis would be the start of act four, the rebirth. The new de-clawed Tyson has been saved by Hollywood; and will now take to Broadway to relive his cryptic past.

            Tyson is a walking paradox. He is a man who is as hated as he is adored. The former boxer lost everything only to realize that his story is his salvation. For the aforementioned reason, Spike Lee is taking this prize play to the big stage.

           Now Iron Mike has a chance to be the king of a different ring. Tyson can now break a leg, as opposed to someone’s ear. 

 

Perfection's Unwritten Chapters

          Even though Philip Humber and Matt Cain missed being a part of James Buckley Junior’s book by one year, their perfect games will be remembered for different reasons.

            In Humber’s case, his no-hit, no-run, no-man-reaching-first game is an indirect tribute to a family friend.

            As spring turned to summer in 1994, pitcher Robert Ellis took Humber to visit the Chicago White Sox at spring training. Ellis was trying to make the team, and Humber got the kind of access every kid in Carthage Texas could have dreamed of.  

            Although Ellis never wore Chicago’s black pinstripes himself, his friend had some extra motivation to step into the batting cage in his back yard.

Eighteen years, three teams, and 29 starts later Humber pitched his way into baseball lore, and the hearts of Southsiders.

On April 21, 2012 Humber sent all 27 Seattle Mariners that he faced back to the dugout. Humber struck out nine, induced five groundouts and 13 flyouts.

In addition to being the 21^st pitcher in MLB history to throw a perfect game (and the third White Sox pitcher to do so), Humber was the first pitcher to throw a perfect game against a team that threw a combined no-hitter earlier that year: ever.

            That Kirk gem will be what separates Humber’s game from the perfectos of others. Perfect game number 21 did not happen in the World Series like Don Larsen’s did. Outfielder Dwayne Wise was not there to make a home run robbing catch like he was back in 2009. This perfecto did not occur on Mothers Day like Dallas Braden’s nor on Father’s day like Jim Bunning’s did. Still, Humber is part of an iconic club thanks in part to Robert Ellis.

            If Humber was perfection’s unknown hurler, Matt Cain’s perfect game was a hard luck pitcher finally breaking through.

Since 2006, the Giants averaged a major league low 3.91 runs per game in Cain’s starts. On those occasions when the Giants did score more than three runs, Cain was 65-9. On June 13^th, Cain did not have to worry about run support.

The Giants scored ten runs against the Houston Astros en-route to the 22^ndperfecto in MLB history. For all the statisticians out there, Cain had the most run support ever in a perfect game.

Even with uncanny help, the lasting number of Cain’s perfecto is 14. Not just because it is tied for the most strikeouts ever during a perfect game; it’s also because a Giant tied the record held by an L.A. Dodger. Surely the baseball junkies have heard of a guy named Sandy Koufax, the guy who Cain now shares a record with.

However, the perfect games pitched by Cain and Koufax couldn’t have been more different.

Koufax threw his perfecto in one of the best pitchers duels in baseball history. The opposing pitcher Bob Hendley gave up one hit, a walk, and an unearned run in that 1965 showdown. Despite Hendley’s effort, his Cubs got perfected and lost 1-0.

Cain did not have to worry about run support, for once, after the first inning. Giants outfielder Melky Cabrera hit a two run homer and the Giants bombardment continued from there.

Nobody knows when the next perfect game will happen. Yet that’s part of the majesty of baseball, for it could happen tomorrow by a journeyman like Humber or a hard luck stud like Cain. Guess baseball fans just have to wait for perfect game number 23.

Crown for the Kings

           15 Larry O’Brien Trophies, six Commissioners Trophies, and one Lombardi Trophy have all made their way to the city of angels. Now the Los Angles Kings can put their star of L.A.’s sports walk of fame.

            This night was a night of firsts for a sports town used to winning. The franchise that gave hockey the Triple Crown Line held sport’s heaviest trophy for the first time. The first number eight seed in NHL history won a title. The newly coroneted Kings put together one of the most dominant postseasons in recent memory.

The new champs of L.A. found comfort in hostility. An appropriate word forL.A.’s ten road wins in eleven games would be historic; mostly because ten road wins in a row is a new NHL record. In the playoffs, the Kings put up 35 road goals compared to 20 at the Staples Center. 
Even with the King's success away from home, their surprising dominance in the playoffs could inspire the next great sports movie. 

L.A.’s playoff run was incredible to watch. This Cinderella team steamrolled the four teams that stood in the way of their carriage. The Kings scored 12 goals against the Vancouver Canucks in five games. L.A. followed that up by netting 15 goals in their sweep of the Saint Louis Blues. Next, the Kings ousted the Phoenix Coyotes to claim the Clarence S. Campbell Bowl.
The Stanley Cup Finals provided a picturesque ending for the NHL's new royalty. The Kings faced the Devils of New Jersey and the demons of their past. Still, when the Devils went down to L.A., the Kings throttled their final foes; just like they beat their previous opponents. 

Offensively, the Kings playoff numbers dwarf their inept regular season counterparts. The same mundane offense that ranked 29^th in the league for the first 82 games put up  in just 19 games.

Defensively, the Kings carried their strong penalty killing into June. A Kings team that killed 87% of their penalties purged 93% of enemy powerplays in the playoffs.

The NHL’s newest champions won this title as a team. Sometimes, Anze Kopitar gave them a key goal like he did in game one of the Finals. Other times, Jonathan Quick dug in and gave his team a shutout; like he did against the Devils in game three.

These kings were groomed, raised, and sent into battle by a man who owns a farm in Alberta. Coach Darryl Sutter came in midseason and guided a group of fledglings to the highest summit in hockey.

            Maybe with the Cup in Hollywood, we will hear some captivating stories about the Cup and the Kardashians.  One thing is for certain, the 2012 L.A. Kings will become lore in the city of angels.

 

HBO's Game of Thrones v. Starz Network's Spartacus

Phewww.

I have been away from these shenanigans for a long, long, long time.

There is an apparent lack of post ideas popping up in my life apparently.  I'd rather talk about something, rather than myself, or my "Top 10 Summer Tune Tracks" or have a not-so-well-disguised-"I have an issue with something so we're going to make a post out of it" thought.

So, the only thing that has popped up most recently that is worth talking about is HBO's Game of Thrones (of which I finally caught up on, yes..I know how late this is) versus Starz Network's Spartacus (which I watched before Game of Thrones).  Both are very similar in their approach to weaving together their respective epic tales, but in terms of referring them to other people I'm slightly torn between which one to pick over the other.

And by slightly torn I mean I'm not really at all...but want to peak your interest in reading this post farther than the first few sentences.

I'm trying to not be bias towards Game of Thrones as I watched Spartacus first, but I do have some objections to the series.

Like why was Ned Stark such a bamf...but such an idiot (Source)

To give you the brief (and I mean brief) overview of both series: In a nutshell Game of Thrones focuses on the battle between different royal families and political factions for the Iron Throne, while the greater threat of the mystical "White Walkers" threatens (unbeknownst to anyone in the continent other than those in the immediate vicinity of them) the realm.  In the East, another royal heir with a "legitimate" claim to the crown tries to gather an army in exile to return to the realm and contest for the Iron Throne as well.  That's it in  the most basic of nutshells, if you want to get more in-depth I'd recommend any one of the various Game of Thrones wikis.

Spartacus is complex but simple. The main storyline advances while a vast array of conspiracies and subplots go on in a very cloak/dagger manner, but it is simple enough to not be hard to follow and it stays mostly under the roof of one House, rather than spanning across several different locations in depth.  It focuses on the famous slave Spartacus, showing his transformation from a free man to a slave/gladiator and then to a rebel.

The show currently has one more season than Game of Thrones, wrapping its 3rd Season up this year.  Season 2 briefly backtracked to a prequel setting of Season 1, after Andy Whitfield, the actor playing Spartacus, lost his battle with Cancer after Season 1.  Whitfield really did make the show click, and his acting was the best part of Season 1---Not saying that in a phony, quasi-"well I guess I should say something because the guy died"-voice, but seriously: Season 2 and 3 cannot be compared to Season 1.

I. am. a. fucking. badass. (Source)

Disregarding Season 2 (which, don't get me wrong, it was good), as it doesn't further the story in between Season 1 and Season 3---In a nutshell, Season 1 focuses on Spartacus' (played at that time by Andy Whitfield) brief time as free Thracian, serving as an auxiliary for the Roman Army lead by Gaius Claudius Glaber, who long story short, betrays a promise made to the Thracians to protect their towns from the rival tribesmen of the area.  Spartacus, in turn, rebels against Glaber and leaves the army, which results in him and his wife being captured and separated. Spartacus is sent to execution in the arena while his wife Sura is sent off to slavery. I know I'm going into depth with Spartacus a lot more than Game of Thrones, but I'm going by the rule of thumb if I can't explain the plot to my own mother in person in 5 minutes, Game of Thrones is too complex for me to try and explain it here, and you're better off looking it up yourself.

The Sura/Glaber point is essential to the main story line of the plot, as is Spartacus being sold to the Gladiatorial  training House of Batiatus.  There, the plot thickens as Batiatus and his wife, Lucretia, plot their way into rising in the spectrum of Rome, which eventually pulls Glaber's wife Illithya (who is a total 10+ babe) towards the House and within the grasp of Spartacus who lusts for revenge.  There are, obviously, other characters who incorporate more subplots, but it is mainly the plotting of Batiatus and his troublesome wife that lead to some of the more insane-mindfuck-plot twists in the show.  You do have to follow the story, but it rewards you immensely and takes place with a much more limited amount of characters than Game of Thrones.


So what's my beef? Why do I favor Spartacus over Game of Thrones?  They both have excellent casting, and extremely engaging storylines, so what gives?

I should have mentioned before, in terms of the content surrounding these shows (if you live under a rock and haven't heard anything about them), they're not exactly light on graphic sexual/violent imagery.

From a generation-point of view, this really isn't an issue for our generation (20-somethings), but for more conservative older generations this is a substantial problem (and watching Game of Thrones with your father can lead to some very awkward moments).  If you're from the older generation--this isn't because you're getting older and its simply a matter of our hormones-are-a-raging.  If you're part of my generation, you may have been forced to watch The Miracle of Life in 7th grade, and your higher high school learning/college experience in the classroom has been vastly different (/dare I say affected by some professors who want to emphasize the fact they're atheists) towards one you could have had in the 1950s.  When half of the "modern art" looks like this...

Artist: George Grie (Source)

...and we watched the D-Day beach scene from Saving Private Ryan in 8th Grade: we aren't exactly a sensitive generation. 

Nonetheless, there's a difference between adding graphic scenes in order to depict a scene, versus simply adding graphic imagery in order to entice a larger audience to watch the show.

Granted, it could be argued that both shows use sex to pull people towards watching the show, and Spartacus is definitely more graphic in violence, and is certainly more sexual than Game of Thrones.

Score. (Source)

However, the scenes of "sexual depravity" in Spartacus are usually used as a) a means to showcase the slave-masters as immoral, b) a means to showcase the pagan/ancient Roman lifestyle, c) a means to showcase sex as psychological warfare/blackmail, d) a means to showcase how horrible the life for slaves really is, when they can be forced to do anything or e) very rarely a means to showcase actual love between two people.

Long story short, it's just as graphic as Game of Thrones.  Unlike Game of Thrones however, it usually doesn't feel forced into the series.  There are always some scenes that could be cut, but there are some scenes, like one of the most vile and insane (but an extremely rewarding mind-messer for the viewer) blackmail twists in the entire series (if you want the SPOILER, start on the 6th paragraph of "Blood and Sand"....but its much better to just watch season 1), that are vital to furthering plot points.

Game of Thrones' graphic scenes seem to be simply forced onto the content.


What could make a meaningless conversation about dragons between two people better and still keep our audience intrigued?

SEX IN A BATHTUB (That wasn't in the book).

What's that? You want to learn how to get better at sex so you can influence your man?

Well I used to be a whore...so let me show you how its done!!!

Bad Luck Brian (Source)

It just seems all forced and unnecessary in Game of Thrones.  Note I'm not complaining about the incest, child-murder, rape, etc. etc.  I can see how those fit into the story, and as for the infamous order by King Joffrey to kill of the late King's bastards, it's really no worse the Bible's story of King Herod.  They picked a very good actor for Joffrey...as he has one of those immediately dis-likable faces.

AGGGHHH YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!! 

(literally..he is actually the product of incest..which explains why he's such a dick) (Source)

As for the violence aspects of the shows, Game of Thrones and Spartacus stick to a level of violence that you could expect to see in an R-rated movie, although Spartacus glorifies violence more so than Game of Thrones.  This isn't surprising however, the main entirety of Season 1 and Season 2 take place in gladiator training and gladiatorial matches, and the violence thereof is a product of the lifestyle.  Most of the finishing blows are done in 300-style slow-motion, as can be seen here (Don't come crying to me afterwards, as I just told you it was violent).  

In conclusion:

Both shows are great.  If you want to just jump into a show, choose Spartacus.  The beginning to Game of Thrones keeps you on your toes, and pushes your curiosity to the edge--I genuinely enjoy the story and want to know what else happens.  I was, however, severely lost among all the locations and people until I had one of my friends who read the books explain everything to me.  Don't take Spartacus' simplicity to be a down side--it has just as many conspiracies and juicy secrets as Game of Thrones does.  

They both have intense plots, and you can't exactly go wrong with either unless you're conservative towards violence and sex.  

However, as for my own personal recommendation, I'd say if you're a 20-something year old to pick Spartacus.  I like Game of Thrones, but so far I haven't seen too many "Oh-Shit" plot-twists (that's not to say it hasn't had one or two).  Parts of Spartacus and Game of Thrones are predictable, but I wouldn't say that they are cliche.  They both kill off awesome and likable characters without remorse, but this simply makes you lust for an end to the bad guys even more.

All in all with my rating:

Spartacus (Season 1)= Solid A

Spartacus (Season 2)= B+

Spartacus (Season 3)= C+ (It was impossible for any new actor to fill Andy Whitfield's shoes, and the new guy does his best, but it's not the same---and Season 3 is all about Spartacus/his slave insurrection in defiance against Rome.  It doesn't have as much conspiracies and mindfucks as much as Season 1 and 2 did, but it tries hard to compete with the other seasons). 

Game of Thrones (Season 1)= B+

Game of Thrones (Season 2)= B+

--Fertig--