The year that brought you Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Aliens, Platoon and Top Gun (Not to mention Highlander).
It also brought us Robot Holocaust.
How could this movie have been overlooked by mainstream audiences? Why is it not inducted into the glorious film hall of fame that these other acclaimed films are represented in?
Is this movie a diamond in the rough that never got its chance to shine?
Nope.
It's just yet another fantastic piece of shit.
This movie was so unspeakably bad that my friends and I were not even able to finish it. It also was so bad that it made its way onto Scy Fy's famous "Mystery Science Theater 3000" during Season 1. You can watch the full movie--complete with MST3K's commentary here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43bMXSfwlYs&feature=related
What made this movie so bad?
The premise doesn't seem that bad...Robots rose to take over the earth and in turn made man their servants. A band of rebels, led by....wait for this one....Neo (either its a weird coincidence or the Wachowski brothers ripped off Robot Holocaust) go to the "power station" to confront and defeat the "Dark One".Okay...so why is the movie such a piece of crap?
Did you look at that link above I gave you? The first 5 minutes of the damn movie are hard enough to get through. There was a "Robot Holocaust" that left a "wasteland"...and yet I can clearly see skyscrapers in the background of that abandoned pier you're filming.
The remaining humans are left to....silly looking caveman clothing and swords. While the robots have death rays and... surprisingly other than that not very advanced looking technology..apparently the majority of robots prefer swords and maces to death rays themselves (there must have been a shortage after the war).
And why is a human working for the Dark One? That isn't really explained (oh wait...it is, I guess she's a robot herself?---I just watched part 2 of one of the videos posted below..but I'm too lazy to change the sentencing here), but she does get points for hotness coupled with a sexy accent (P.S. Dom, looks like she's Deutsche, not French). Seen below:
As far as I could find, Robot Holocaust was the actress' (Angelika Jager) first....and only film.
Probably because the acting is downright hideous. Just look at this Youtube video (done in two parts and uploaded by "Xysmatascruff"):
Good LORD.
Beauty clearly isn't everything. Unfortunately, somehow Megan Fox continues to get jobs, despite an uncanny acting ability very similar to Angelika Jager. (Did you see that Jonah Hex trailer? DID YOU?!?!?....worst Southern accent ever)
Conclusion
Unfortunately this movie wasn't as good as Wrong Side of Town. Instead of being "so awful it's funny", the film just ended up being "so awful". Best bet is to see if you yourself can stand to watch this terrible....terribllllllllllee.... TERRIBLY deformed abortion of failed creativity.
Rated R for Nudity and Horrendous "violent" special effects.
Best Part of the Movie: Getting to meet this gem of a useless character:
We dubbed him "Fabio".
Biggest WTF Moment of the Movie: The only nudity scene involves Jager (JAGER BOMBS...sorry..had to throw that in there---see my "Bros" post), and a "pleasure machine" (imagine a telephone box..it's nothing f*cked up).
Basically....the director of the film was a pervert and decided to create an unnecessarily long, not to mention trippy, topless scene.
SERIOUSLY WTF
Its like a club rave scene without the club. And the ravers just happen to be meth-addicted + ridden with a "restless-limb" syndrome. That's considered dancing in the future? What??
How Bad is Bad?
Rated 1.01 poopsicles out of 5.
--Fin--
