MAINTAINING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP IN COLLEGE
This particular assignment was supposed to be handled by the Grog's relationship correspondent Jay Galinauskas, but sadly things just did not work out that way. So I will be taking a stab at this particular topic instead.
The first, and most important thing that I can tell you about being in a relationship when the two of you are in two different colleges is this:
THERE IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DEAL OF TEMPTATION SURROUNDING YOU AT ALL TIMES. IF YOU WANT TO MAINTAIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, DO NOT CHEAT!!!!
Before I go any further I want to give MY definition of what is considered cheating. If you disagree with this opinion then fine, but please do not fill up the comments box with hate messages: mostly because we don't read any of it anyway.
Now I consider cheating to be a breach of any of the four bases. If by chance you missed sex ed , or have been living under a rock before somehow getting into college and you do not know what 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, and home plate are I will recommend you to this website for more information. Even if you were not "in a good state of mind" or had a few too many, committing one of these acts with someone else while you are in a relationship it is not an excuse. To put it simply, if you were to commit any of these acts with someone that was not your boyfriend or girlfriend, that would be cheating because it would imply that you passed Go, collected $200, and went out of your way to harm your partner.
Here is what is NOT cheating.
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is grinding with another guy or girl.
Dancing is fun, and since you are not there to be the one dancing with your guy or girl, then it is okay for another guy or girl to take your place. Before getting mad, here is my reason behind this. It is not "who is going to know?" logic, but rather your girlfriend or boyfriend most likely wants some attention while you are not around. Grinding is a good way for your partner to feel appreciated while at college while you are not, so just let them go dance with someone who makes them feel attractive. College students are young adults who are looking to enjoy life before they have to go into the working world, and getting your knickers in a twist over them dancing with another person is not going to lead to anything constructive.
Your partner getting a kiss on the cheek from another guy/girl is also not cheating because it is a greeting. That is it. Even if the person kissing them wants it to be more than that, a peck on the cheek at face value is meaningless.
But say that this advice falls on deaf ears, which it usually does, and one of the two of you does cheat. Well then you two are in for a world of emotion, anger, and sadness that will dominate your life for the next few weeks. Trust us, the most dramatic situations that anybody has do encounter in college is when one girl with a boyfriend (or vise versa) ends up hooking up with another guy at a party. Those are the worst situations to be involved in because they always involve people taking sides. Especially when it is between a guy and girl in your friend group. Not even Houdini could have found a way to get out of that particular trap.
Nobody wins when somebody cheats, so if you feel that you do not have the mental fortitude to remain faithful, end the relationship right then and there so nobody gets hurt down the road.
So now that we have the don't cheat lecture out of the way, here is a list of things that you can do to keep your relationship going in a sea of temptation.
- Skype date a few times a week. Thanks to the advancements in technologies, we are now able to see each other through video chat. I believe that Skype was created so that couples in long distance relationships could see each other in some way. You can keep up with each other's lives at college and talk when the two of you need to talk.
- If you are going to different colleges in the same state, pay your partner a visit. Money will be tight when you go to college and it is not always going to be easy to get there, but if you really want to make your relationship work and you realistically can go see your partner, then do it. Plus, every time you go to your girl/guy's college it's a guaranteed eagle landing.
- Don't stop them from going out if they want to, but don't not care. The most common reason for why cheating happens in college after young people not wanting full time commitment is because of the nosy guy/girl who is always asking "what did you do last night?" "You F&*^ any guys/girls?" "I bet you did." Trust is critical to maintaining a relationship because if you are constantly looking for faults in your partner, they loose comfort and interest with you. So please don't be that guy.
- Finally, just do your best to make each other happy. If you are both happy, you will be able to make it through virtually all relationship difficulties.
So that will do it for long distance relationships. Now we move on to our last nugget of knowledge.
How much do you tell your Parent's about your first semester at Thanksgiving?
The answer to this question is simpler than you might think: You tell your parents what you feel comfortable telling them about your semester. If you know that your parents are not fans of you consuming alcohol then telling them you did a keg stand is most likely not a smart idea. Stick to small talk and the fun legal activities that you participate in just to save face. But your parents are not dumb, in fact, they most likely suspect that you are doing all of these crazy things because you are now in a whole new stage of your life. They might not always like that fact, but they understand it. And I cannot stress this enough, EVEN IF YOU GO AWAY TO COLLEGE YOU STILL NEED YOUR PARENTS. I am a junior in college and I still call my parents once a week to talk to them. Friends at college will come and go, but family lasts forever. And no matter what you do, your family will always love you.
Well that is everything froshies. I guess it is my duty to leave you all with this final message.
The freedom that you have in college is unlike anything that you have ever had before or will ever have after you graduate. Utilize that freedom to the fullest by doing something new and fun every day, but be aware that abusing that freedom could have serious consequences. College is meant for you to learn something new both in the career field that you want to be a part of and teach you about your growth as a person. But the best advice that I can give to you is live it up, have fun, go somewhere that you never thought you would go, and work hard in order to get the most out of your time at what ever school you go to.
So now we close the book on the Quintessential Guide for the Incoming Freshman. Hope you all learned something from this and pass on what you have learned with somebody else.
Have a good freshman year.
