The Grog. The famous pastime ritual at Army Dining In Ceremonies. That deliciously disgusting assortment of hot sauce, fruit punch, water, bacon bites, mini-donuts, marshmallows, butter and, yes, a sock. This is my Grog. My random outlook on the world. Expect only the unexpected.
Embrace your random side.
Welcome to The Grog.
When I was doing my "Top Ten Emasculating Songs I'm Not Afraid to Admit I Like" post, I got the idea of doing a story about my favorite moments from the Bond Franchise. Who is the Best Bond? Who is the worst Bad Guy? Who is the best Bond Girl? What's the worst way for a Bad guy to go?
I decided with such a large franchise it would probably be best to split this post up into parts...anybody who has ever seen a James Bond movie knows that a bad guy can make or break a movie, making a film memorable...or a complete dud. Thus...what's a better way to start off the Ultimate Review?
THE TOP 15 BAMF BOND BAD GUYS EVER #15 Baron Samedi "The Man Who Can Not Die" (Live and Let Die-1973)
Alright now this guy was just weird. Live and Let Die wasn't exactly the best Bond film, and Baron definitely overtakes the place of his boss, Dr. Kananga, in terms of remembrance. He really is not that significant in the film, but the guy does not want to die! In a weird and terrifying (if you were 12 years old-which I probably was when I saw the film) voodoo sacrifice scene, Bond rescues the damsel in distress and throws Baron into a coffin filled with snakes (he doesn't put up much of a fight either). At the end of the film however, after Bond throws another villain named Tee Hee (Don't ask me what the deal is with these names) out of a moving train, the film ends with Baron laughing at the very front engine car.
#14 Wint and Kidd (Diamonds are Forever-1971)
A Sadistic duo of killers, Wint and Kidd are both a unique brand of Bond Bad Guy. They chime and finish each others sentences all throughout the movie, and their end scheme to knock off Bond includes an Explosive cake....aptly named the "Bombe Suprise" in a ridiculous French accent. Here they are in action: #13 Gobinda (Octopussy-1983)
One of the more formidable henchmen from James Bond's "Octopussy" mission, Gobinda was a big threat to Bond...just look at that crazy gun he's got there. Gobinda's claim to fame is his tendency to follow his orders to the letter....a quality which leads to his downfall....literally. His Boss, Afghan Prince 'Kamal Khan' has successfully gotten into the air in his plane to make a quick get-a-way. There's only one problem. James Bond of course has somehow gotten on top of the plane, and is managing to hold on.....somehow. Khan orders his trusty henchman to get out on top of the plane as well and finish the job! The result? A painful whiplash from the plane's antenna to the face, and a 30,000 foot fall to the death. What a trooper.
Fortunately for some reason some one uploaded the entire movie onto Youtube...dont mind the weird transition of lady fighting...watch minutes 4:19-5:25 for the fight.
Watch minutes 4:19-5:25 for the fight! Don't mind the weird intro in the beginning of the vid with the fighting ladies...
#12 Dr. No (Dr. No-1962)
Dr. No. The first Bond Baddie on the big screen. His claim to fame besides being the first Bad guy to get the boot? Mechanical Hands. As it turns out, strangely enough Dr. No's hands aren't that formidable in a fight. They also cant save the evil doctor as he struggles to pull him self up out of the 'heavy water' that surrounds his evil lab.
#11 Zao aka Diamond Face (Die Another Day-2002)
Die Another Day, as previously discussed in the post before this, tries too hard to be a Bond Film. The concept of the henchman Zao however is pretty cool. The Guy has diamonds......as a part of his face!!! Talk about nifty shrapnel. Zao doesnt go down easy either...how does the famed Diamond-Face Baddie die? Why with a gigantic diamond chandelier of course!
Watch the ice car chase below....don't mind the ridiculous adaptive camouflaged car by the way/the giant sun laser thing..two of the reasons this movie was so absurd.
#10 Le Chiffre (Casino Royale-2006)
Any man who goes after another man's jewels deserves to be placed in a top 10 for Bad Guys. Truly a "low blow", Le Chiffre sentences the new Bond, Daniel Craig, to some prettttyyyy nastttyyyy torture.
#9 Max Zorin (A View To A Kill-1985)
The product of a genetic experiment by his mentor, the evil Nazi Dr. Mortner, Zorin plans to obliterate the Silicon Valley in California and nothing will stand in his way....the exception being James Bond of course. Zorin is a sociopath cold-blooded killer, shooting just about everyone in the film but Bond. He's met with a satisfying end for the audience: Falling off the top of the Golden Gate Bridge.
#8 Necros (The Living Daylights-1987)
The Aryan Necros, coldly listening to music through his headphones, and indeed murdering someone with them, is a formidable henchman for Bond from The Living Daylights. His famous method of destruction? Exploding Milk Bottles.
#7 Renard (The World Is Not Enough-1999)
The deranged terrorist Renard from "The World is Not Enough" certainly is a bad-ass. The guy took a bullet to the head by another MI6 agent and he's still alive! The bullet is moving ever so slowly however, cutting off Renard's senses one by one until it will ultimately kill him. For the mean time though, Renard can't feel pain, and can push himself to inhuman feats of strength. BAMF.
#6 Ernst Stavro Blofeld (You Only Live Twice, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Diamonds Are Forever)
Yeah yeah yeah.....Blofeld isnt the #1 on my list, even though the guy has been portrayed by 3 different actors and has been 'killed' in just about every manner of the word but just doesn't seem to want to die indefinitely. The famed mastermind behind SPECTRE! The boss of bosses! Yeah I get it. There wont be any cliche place holders here. Blofeld holds his place as being a Top 10 baddie, but he just doesn't have the same ruthlessness and BAMFness of other Bond villains that came on in later films. His crazy master plans to destroy the earth do, however, make him a favorite in the Top Bad Guys List.
#5 Franz Sanchez (License to Kill-1989)
Speaking of being ruthless, look its Franz Sanchez! Sanchez is a South American Drug Trafficker who makes things personal with Bond when he orders a hit on Bond's buddy Felix Lighter and his newlywed wife. The girl gets it relatively pretty quick, but Felix is fed to a hungry shark and left for dead. Along the way Sanchez also cuts out a guys heart and gives it to his girl-friend who cheated on him with the man, and throws a buddy into a compression chamber. Real nice guy. He meets his demise when Bond sends him up in flames with a lighter given to him at Felix's wedding.
#4 "Red" Grant (From Russia With Love-1963)
Cold and ruthless, the SPECTRE agent meets his end in a spectacular and claustrophobic train compartment fight with Bond. Oh did I mention the man has a piano wire garrote in his wrist watch? Follow the link below to see (for some reason I couldn't upload it) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DrMdQhz53Q
#3 Oddjob (Goldfinger-1964)
Finally. The Famous Oddjob. This henchman became an instant and recognizable baddie from the classic "Goldfinger". Short, oblivious to pain, and prone to wearing a killer wardrobe, this guy was truly one of the first iconic Bond Bad Guys. The claim to fame? A killer top hat with a razor-bladed rim. Perfect for decapitating statues at Golf Clubs.
#2 Jaws (The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker)
No one can forget the indestructible and clumsy Jaws, who was used more for comic relief than ferociousness during the Roger Moore James Bond years. This lovable Frankenstein seemed to have a soft spot for James, even though he did slap him around a little bit. He also had a knack for being invincible. Construction materials and blocks of statues falling down? No problem. Ripping the parachute cord a littttttllle to hard and falling 30,000 feet? Not an issue. Ramming into a building on an out of control tram? Not even a scratch.
#1 Alec Trevelyan, 006 (Goldeneye-1995)
Number 1. My favorite Bond Bad Guy. Alec Trevelyan holds the number one spot for a number of reasons. First of all, the guy is a bad-ass, and has, for once, a realistic and plausible plan to do some serious damage. Trevelyan isn't a diabolical clown with an agenda against the whole world....he just happens to hate the Brits (long story short they sold his parents out to Stalin's execution squads). He worked side by side with Bond, and was presumed dead by 007 after a particularly epic opening scene. Now how does one go about bankrupting Britain and simultaneously killing thousands of people? How about a satellite that emits a Electro-Magnetic Pulse? Oooooooooh....brilliant. He does have the common resilience of most Bond baddies for not dying, but its definitely not as corny. Surviving an explosion which leaves you visibly scarred? BAMF. Falling from a massive radar dish hundreds of feet up in the air and surviving? BAMF. Having said dish explode and fall on your face? Ahh...well that's a problem. See here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HFkF8904Uw&feature=related
Yeah...here we go with the randomness. This is somewhat related to Christmas, I promise.
#10 Die Another Day-Madonna
Who doesn't love a good Bond Film? Die Another Day unfortunately does not fit that category. Other bond films have had silly bad guys with absurd strategies for world domination, but Die Another Day took the cake. A giant flower looking satellite that can harness the sun's light into a mega flamethrower? What??? The one highlight from this ridiculous film was the opening credits with Madonna's take on a 007 soundtrack.
#9 JeVeux Te Voir-Yelle
Now the video is a bit of an acid trip but it does enforce my point....this isn't exactly the manliest song on the planet. It is however pretty catchy. As I learned absolutely nothing from Middle School French, other than how to say "bonjour mademoiselle, ce va?" I have no idea what she's saying. Whatever it is, I'm sure it sounds much better in French anyway.
#Umbrella-Rihanna
Yup. I went there. I like this song.
#7 Firework-Katy Perry
Now this is kind of a no-brainer. Is the music girly?...a little bit. But Katy Perry is hot. So they even out.
#6 Disturbia-Rihanna
Was Disturbia an awesome movie? Yes. Is this an awesome song? Yes.
#5 Tik Tok-Ke$ha
Alright so we can all agree that Ke$ha isn't your standard role model. If it wasn't for the digital age it's almost certain she would not have a career in the music industry. Regardless of how many times her voice was screened through a computer Tik Tok is still my #5 guilty pleasure.
#4 She Wolf-Shakira
Alright now even as a guy I look at this music video and think it's weird. That strange black...thing..she's got on in the beginning? The horrendous dancing? Thankfully the music video does not dampen the awesomeness of the song.
#3 Ce Jeu-Yelle
Yup. Another French Pop song by Yelle. I just recently noticed this song a couple of weeks ago on iTunes and loved it (yeah I said it...I LOVED IT). Damn this lady is catchy.
#2 California Gurls-Katy Perry
Regardless of whether you like Katy Perry's music or not, every single guy on the planet loves this song, and even if they say they don't.....they secretly do. It has Snoop Dogg in it for pete's sake.
#1 All I Want For Christmas Is You-Mariah Carey
This is it. Numero Uno. The best song ever made. I told you this post would have something to do with Christmas. BEST. SONG. EVER.
Do you like to procrastinate? Do you like to laugh at ridiculous, weird and corny stuff? I found this website through a link on CollegeHumor.com about a year ago and I personally find it absolutely hilarious. I'm a huge fan of this site and you can literally spend an entire day on it. Just be aware of the couple of things that are NSFW...otherwise check it out: http://www.everythingisterrible.com/
Anyway, the most legendary clips I've found from this site are that of the "2.5 minute Revenge of the Red Baron" and "The World's Most Action Packed Action Movie"
I've had my fair share of negative responses when I've worn my uniform, but today was a little bit absurd. I have 3 friends from my High School who, along with me, ended up doing ROTC. We had decided it would be kind of nice to set up a table at our High School and talk about ROTC to the seniors/juniors. We have a lot of friends still in High School that we know are interested in the program, so it seemed like a pretty solid plan.
I'm not going to throw out any names or even say where I went to High School, because I really don't want to cause a big-to-do about the whole incident, plus the comment was singular, and definitely didn't reflect the majority of the responses we received.
First of all, we had pre-planned the whole process with the High School probably about a month in advance, so they knew we were coming. As we walked up to the door, one of the.........higher ranking members of the administration.....opened the door and stuck their head out. "Why are you here?" she snapped at us. Uhhh....we made plans with the school to come in and set up a table for the day. "Oh..so you're here for one day then? Good. We don't like encouraging our young boys and girls to go into the military."
Nice.
I mean it happens, and you do have the right to think whatever you want..but this was someone who treated us like random strangers and not recent graduates and alumni, who we had personally spoke to throughout our high school careers. The comment was also completely out of place, as her statement certainly did not reflect the official opinion of the school. Our response was professional: we didn't get visibly angry or even issue a word, except for a quiet thank you for opening the door.
That was the only shocking event of the day though. Every other teacher we saw wished us Happy Holidays and talked to us about school. We got a lot of interest during the lunch hours and handed out a couple of brochures, and got one of our high school friends to do push-ups in front of the cafeteria while wearing a plate carrier to get a Army T-Shirt as a prize.
All in all, we didn't let that one comment get in our way. We had a great time talking with teachers and some prospective students, and we had a lot of fun.
This seems to be one of the better ways to get into this...before the more random things start to pop up. I'm currently a c/PFC (or Cadet Private First Class) with the Charles River Battalion's Bravo Company, i.e. the BearHawks. I love ROTC. When everything else has gone to hell in college, ROTC is what ties everything back together. My best friends at school are the guys in the program, and I've met a lot of other solid people from other schools I never would have met if it wasn't for ROTC. I've gotten used to getting little sleep and waking up at 4 am in the morning just to go work out, or crawl through mud, or go on a ruck march. For any prospective cadet out there, you have to keep this in mind: you have to want it.
If you're thinking of joining the program so you can lay back, party all the time, wear the uniform around campus to pick up chicks, and live out a fantasy role, think again. Your life will not be that of the average college student. Its important to keep in mind that we're currently in the midst of two very challenging wars. At the end of your four years at school, don't make the naive mistake of thinking you wont be thrust into them. You are going to get up at 4 to 5 am, pretty much all the days out of the week. You're going to be working out, or learning battle drills when your roommate is sleeping, and you better wear your uniform appropriately (also...just on a side note...if you're planning on using your uniform to pick up chicks..you might want to reconsider if you're joining the program for the right reasons). Depending on your battalion, you may have study halls 3 days a week, (including Friday) in order to make sure your GPA stays, or gets close to a 3.0.
If you really want it, you'll end up loving it. Your ROTC friends will be your best friends, because nobody outside of ROTC will understand why you love working out at 7 am in a squad v. squad competition.
Bottom line: Ask yourself why you want to join before you get into the program. If you want to join solely for the free tuition, you might want to look at other scholarships. I have a lot of fun in the program, but I also remember at the end of the day, I'm signing on my life for a required 4 years of active service, and an additional 4 years in either the Army Reserves, or the National Guard (if I dont choose another 4 years of active). However, if you want the challenge, I'd give yourself the chance to see if you can hack being a different breed of student.
The Grog. That deliciously disgusting assortment of hot sauce, fruit punch, water, bacon bites, mini-donuts, marshmallows, butter and, yes, a sock. I've been debating putting up a blog for a while. What would it even be about? Who am I to write a blog? Are people even going to read this? The idea started to collect some serious thought after one of my friends in Army ROTC started to write a blog about his experiences in the program. Its his site that inspired the name for my project: The Grog. Kudos to you Grady.
To give you the brief outlook on my thought process, "The Grog" is part of a rather disturbing ritual in Army "Dine In's". Break one of the one-thousand rules at the Dine In? Drink from the Grog. Get called out by a buddy? Drink from the Grog. Are you a freshmen? You'll definitely be drinking from the Grog. Normally your standard Grog would be an assortment of liquor, but because the majority of our ROTC Battalion is not 21 (we're made out of students at Boston University and it's affiliate schools, and Stonehill College and it's affiliates) its just a compilation of nasty crap mixed into one big.....Grog.
So there you have it. This is my Grog. My random outlook on the world. Expect only the unexpected. I should probably give you a brief bio: I'm currently enrolled at Stonehill College in Easton, MA. I've got a weird last name (Smoot), and yeah...I'm a character. I. Love. The Army. For anybody out there who is thinking about service, and attending college at the same time, I would highly encourage you to think about Army ROTC. It makes you physically fit, disciplined, and unless your a complete moron...you'll get a solid group of loyal friends.
Embrace your random side.
Welcome to The Grog.
Just an important note: NONE of my personal opinions reflect those of the United States Army, or any United States Army ROTC program.
