The Quintessential College Guide for the Incoming Freshman: Pt 6: Tough Scenarios

Greetings and salutations to all of the advice seeking freshman of the United States of America. I hope that all you young freshman are learning a lot so far this semester. The first week is always the most unusual because you still haven't really found your niche yet. And even after you have gotten used to your schedule and have successfully located the important buildings on campus, we now take the next step in your development as a college student.

HOW TO HANDLE TOUGH SITUATIONS YOU WILL MOST LIKELY ENCOUNTER IN COLLEGE!!!

Topics include.

• RA's getting in your face
• If a fight breaks out on campus
• Guy/Girl Drama

We start first with the people in charge of your dorm, the resident assistants and resident directors. Or RA's and RD's for short.

Now you have encountered your Resident Assistant when you first moved into your new home for seven to eight months out of the year. The easiest way to tell whether your Resident Assistant is going to be difficult to deal with depends on a few factors.

• Room Location

If your RA is in the room directly across from you or immediately next to you, partying is ill advised. I mean of course you will at some point try fate, your friends have birthdays, and maybe you will want to stick it to the man or woman in the worst possible way. Perhaps you will get the RA who is lenient and is understanding of the situation. But until you know for sure how your RA operates, keep all "studious" activities away from your room just to be on the safe side.

Another factor that determines the type of RA you will get is

• Their Major

There is a great deal of generalizing surrounding college majors, but that is because a great deal of it is true. If you RA is one of the four bookworm majors (Nursing, Law, Accounting, or any kind of Engineering), then they are not as likely to be chill because their constant work load keeps them stressed and agitated at all times. So even if your music is too loud, they will be sure to come by and tell you to turn it down because "There are some people trying to sleep/study" By some people, RA's always mean themselves. If your RA can keep their work load managed, they will have time to make themselves happy. And a happy RA usually makes them a chill RA.

But the easiest way that you can tell if your RA is a dick or dynastic Prince or Princess is....

GO WITH YOUR GUT JUDGEMENT AND BY WHAT OTHER PEOPLE TELL YOU ABOUT THEM.

If you meet your RA on the first day and he/she seems like a bag of dung. They most likely are. Everybody judges each other in college, and we at The Grog understand it. But you don't want to come off as a judgmental a-hole, or maybe they seem nice, but you are concerned they are two faced. So what do you do? Well, the people who know best how RA's treat people are upperclassmen who have dealt with them before. Get input from a sophomore who lived under the RA a year ago before proceeding with partying in your room. 

So that is an overview of the types of RA's you will meet. Now we address.

SITUATION NUMBER 1:

You are partying in your room and your RA happens to knock on the door and your room looks like this

If you want to avoid getting written up. Follow these simple steps

1. Do not answer the door until the third time the RA knocks
2. Lower your music after they knock the second time, but do not turn your music off
3. Clean up faster than you ever have in your entire life
4. DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN FURNITURE THAT THE SCHOOL OWNS BECAUSE THEY CAN OPEN ANY FURNITURE THEY OWN WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.

So here it is. You are face to face with the RA and it is the moment of truth. The confrontation

 If you have followed the four steps posted above, then the only thing you have left to do is keep a level head and eight out of ten RA's will leave you all alone and tell you to keep the noise down. 

What about the other two RA's you ask. Well the ninth will ask everyone who is not signed in as a guest, aka everyone else at the party, to leave. When that happens, convince your guests to oblige, wait 10-15 minutes, and start the party back up again and make sure there is less noise. 

The tenth RA will be a huge dick and try to write you up on the spot for suspicion of alcohol possession. When that happens, go with it. Possession is the most bogus charge an RA can try to nail you with. If you have taken the necessary precautions, they will have nothing on you and you will ultimately be fine. 

After that whole situation has resolved itself, your room will become a hot spot for the next two weekends and RA's will be looking to bust you again. Don't give them the chance and take your partying elsewhere.

If you have a chill RA, let them know complement them and stay on their good side. It will make your life a hell of a lot more fun, and easy. Be cool with your RA and they will have your back, even when the RD decides to stir from their slumber and try to force their way into a situation like a third wheel in the bedroom.

Now that we have dealing with RA's covered. We move on to our next situation.

FIGHTS AT SCHOOL

I will keep this one short because the situation is pretty straight forward. Fights happen because

• Somebody is way to drunk and looking for trouble
• One person had sex with so and so's girlfriend/boyfriend and wants to get even
• Drug deals gone bad
• Somebody owes somebody else money and has not paid yet

Hopefully you will never have to encounter this situation. And we here at The Grog do not condone using violence to resolve issues unless it is to protect yourself from bodily harm. But due to entangled friendships, a situation may arise in which you have to deal with a fight breaking out on campus. The best advice I can give you regarding this situation is the following....

DO WHATEVER YOU CAN TO AVOID THE FIGHT 

• If you can get out of wherever the fight is happening, do not waste a second and GTFO. People who get in fights end up with that stigma following them around throughout the rest of their lives. 
• If you cannot get out of the situation, try and break it up. If you are found at the scene then you can at least say that you were trying to be a peacekeeper. 
• I will say it again. IF SOMEBODY IS NOT THROWING A PUNCH AT YOU, DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR A FIGHT. 
• If the person is your friend, hold them back. It is your job as a friend to keep your buddies from getting in trouble. And fighting brings up nothing but trouble.
• If you decide to ignore this advice and get in a fight anyway THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR ACTIONS AND YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER FOR THEM. 

Consequences for fighting include, suspension from housing, getting kicked out of school, getting fined huge amounts of money, or worst case scenario....

The bottom line is this: Fighting is a horrible idea that can always be prevented, and it's never worth it.

Now on to the most fun situation.

Issues with the opposite sex

Ah yes, the most common and biggest problems in college always have to do with that girl or guy you are trying to get with. And the majority of these problems seem to come up is AFTER you have already hooked up or had sex.

These issues include.

• Getting attached emotionally/Marriage Latching/Stage 5 clingers
• Arguments over stupid things
• What he/she says about you to their friends
• diseases
• and the Ultimate College No-No that always happens and leads to more drama than you can handle

For the sake of arguments, we will just pretend that you have already hooked up/banged the guy or girl in question. So, Let us start with one of the most fun.

Getting attached emotionally

This happens to guys to. There no more sexist hate mail this week

These situations are the most common. You were the first good lay this person has ever had and this person makes a great deal of effort to be by your side. Conversations are geared towards seeing how you feel about commitment and life after college. The person in question also gives everyone else you are trying to talk to the dirtiest looks to portray the message "hands off or I'll castrate you in the most painful way possible." They cock block in the worst possible way. And they begin to get mad at you for "not talking to them as much as you used to" and "not caring about what they think."

The solution to this problem: Cut em loose ASAP

The longer you enable stage 5 clingers to be around you, the deeper they sink their claws into you and the less likely you will be able to get away. You have to lay down the law and make your intentions clear to each other in order to keep the two of you from hurting each other in the long run. Sure they will say you are an a-hole and that you did not treat them right, but ignore that crap. Listening to them put you down is how drama can start, and as many of us at The Grog have stated previously, drama does not lead to anything good.

Post hookup situation number 2:

DRAMA

Post hookup problems usually happen for a few different reasons.

1. You hooked up with somebody your friend wanted to get with and they get mad at you.
2. Bad performance in bed
3. Rejection
4. Or somebody took something personal too far

First of all, if you beat your friend to the punch, then he or she should not be mad at you unless they let you know ahead of time they were trying to get with guy Y or girl X. If they did let you know ahead of time and you still went for it, then you messed up and you have to make that up to them. 

If a girl (or guy) wants to hook up with you, but you did not know and you end up hooking up with their friend, that is not your fault. You cannot know what other people think unless you are the little voices inside of their heads. So when that happens, do not sweat it. Just avoid spitting game at her (him) for a few weeks and when another non sober night rolls around, you can still get yours.

When you or your partner do so bad in bed that one of the two of you considers college long abstinence, there will be s*&t talking going on the next day. The biggest issues with this is when denial starts coming into play. You may think that you rocked his/her world and that you can get whoever whenever. But if you or your partner each think that the other was bad in bed, SOMEBODY ACTUALLY WAS SLACKING BENEATH THE SHEETS. There is nothing you can do about it, except by stepping your game up, not getting rattled by it, and getting better for the next time. 

Finally when somebody rejects your advances, do not call them every word in the dictionary your parents told you not to use at the dinner table. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and you will eventually find one that is friable. Plus, if you in fact make a good impression on a different fish, your prize catch may catch wind of it and come looking for the hook.

Diseases 

Nobody wants to talk about the possibility of contracting diseases. But, for some poor souls it actually happens in the worst possible way. I have just a few points to make regarding diseases.

• If you contract an STD GO TO A DOCTOR AND GET THAT TAKEN CARE OF. STD's are no joke, keep yourself clean.
• To avoid getting diseases, always wrap it before you tap it

IF YOU DO CONTRACT AN STD, YOU CAN KISS ANY CHANCE OF SEX FOR THE REST OF YOUR COLLEGE CAREER GOODBYE.  Seriously, you may want to consider another school if you get an STD. Because nobody and I mean nobody is dumb enough to go down that road, no matter how good your game is.

Finally, and I cannot stress this one enough. The Ultimate college no-no.....

DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH SOMEBODY WHO IS ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW HOT HE/SHE IS, IT WILL LEAD TO SO MUCH DRAMA THAT YOU WILL WANT TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE WITH SCISSORS.

I know that college is a great time to try new things, and maybe that girl is looking at you from a distance. But make sure that you know if your desired target is taken. If you do hook up with a person who is taken, friends will become enemies, enemies will want to fight you, and the two of you will hate each other for it. JUST DON'T DO IT, ITS NOT WORTH IT, IT'S NEVER WORTH IT. Take it from us at The Grog who have broken this very important rule, nothing good comes from it. Nobody is perfect, but do everything you can to avoid this situation if you do not want drama.

Phew, all this talk about avoiding tough situations has this writer a bit worn out. But don't worry amigos, there is still more to come from the guide including:

• Party Life
• Long distance relationships when the two of you go to different colleges
• sleeping habits
• and how much to tell your parents about your first semester at Thanksgiving

So until next time froshies