Monday, March 28, 2011

Blue Falcon(s) of the Week

According to Urbandictionary.com, the definition of a Blue Falcon is as follows: 

"Term originating from the military meaning a "buddy fucker". Someone who is a fuckoff and drags their buddies into shit with them.
Private Pyle got caught with a jelly donut in his footlocker and his platoon got smoked because of it. Pyle is a Blue Falcon."

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Blue Falcons suck.

We've all met one on a personal level.

The guy who is a colossal walking cluster**** towards his friends, becoming a tornado of buddy fucking--a warlord of unnecessary drama.

An example being: Why is it my responsibility to find you a girl/a party, on one of the most desolated and fun-deprived towns on the East coast once you get back from your adventuresome exploits at a prestigious military school?  (You know who you are, and that is a perfectly fair example---example being all in good fun).

However it's the National/Worldwide Blue Falcons that are the worst. The guys (or gals) who, because of their Napoleon complexes, personally fuck over thousands to millions of people because the view from the lake house inside their ass is just too good to pass up.

This is of course assuming we're all "Buddies" on a world wide level, as my school's "Diversity" committee would like to think--because we humans should all set aside our differences and accept each other (including the fundamental jihad that would use their peace petitions as TP).

Also: I'm going to go on a tangent here: The Diversity committee are a real bunch of Bravo Foxtrots.
I've basically learned through my education in the wonderfully supportive state of MA that if you're a white Christian, you're automatically a bigot that hates blacks and homosexuals.

I mean I go to a Catholic school, that is Catholic--in name only.  We can't even tolerate our own beliefs because that's seen as inconsiderate of other peoples belief systems.  It's a friggen Catholic School....it says it on all the websites...we have a Catholic church on campus..

I couldnt even tell it was the Christmas season because there were no Christmas trees around campus/no snow/no Christmas music/come on guys....you cant say "Merry Christmas", its "Happy Holidays".

Are we so politically correct that I have to respect everyone else's beliefs except for my own?

Catholics aren't exactly the majority religion in the U.S. either.  Regardless My school is characteristically a 99% white school with NO DIVERSITY.  So why is there a Diversity club there telling me I'm somehow being a bigot even though I haven't said anything of the sort to deserve such a label?

I actually got called a fascist online at one point by a kid in my Highschool's ADL (Anti-Defamation League) for being Catholic.  He showed up the next day in BDUs saying he was "fighting the fascists".  Of course it only made sense when I explained this to the office that it wasn't an issue.  I mean how silly of me to forget..acts of bs malice against white Christians don't occur in the U.S.  It's the white Christians that are the problem.  When I even brought up the incident at an ADL "what's wrong with our school-talk", I was told by my teacher that wasn't really an issue, and we needed to instead focus on our non-existent bias and hate problems towards our extremely small homosexual and black population at my school.

Anyway, I'd like to extend the same invite as below in my actual article to the Stonehill Diversity Committee and my High School's GSA/Amnesty International/Anti-Defamation League.  You truly do deserve it.


The Illustrious Order of the Blue Falcon Cordially Invites Muammar el-Qaddafi to Join its Ranks of Honor.

You, Mr. Qaddafi, are a real Buddy Fucker.

You had to go ahead and start killing your own people and starting some big-ta-do instead of doing what you should have done 40 years ago by losing your military coup so we wouldn't have to put up with your endless rain of shit.

According to intelligence reports, you were responsible for some of the deadliest terrorist attacks in the 1980s, including the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, which killed 270 people above Scotland.

Problem with the people? Not with your air superiority! That is of course until France (I mean seriously...France) took some initiative and started talking about a military intervention.  Democrats take note..you know you aren't being decisive on a topic of national security when France beats you to the punch.

Partisan politics aside, we've finally got around to that No Fly Zone dealio we were talking about, as you clearly weren't backing down.


With a joint coalition force intervention, hopefully your Bravo Foxtrot tendencies will come to a quick and satisfying end.  I personally have no reservations to give you anything but an unconditional surrender--but we'll see how the politicians want to handle you.

Dear Mr. Muammar el-Qaddafi,

The Illustrious Order of the Blue Falcon has found you fit the criteria to join our exclusive club based off of the following notations.

1) You are a complete and utter D-Bag.
2) Your sense of fashion, like any dictator, is completely ridiculous, obscene and tacky.  We've taken special note of the 3000 prestigious awards that decorate your military jacket.
3) Ruling with an Iron fist is a perfectly acceptable form of ruling your people.  Coupled with an unfair Air Superiority that has crippled Rebel offensives until the No Fly Zone went into affect, your tactics comply with our standards of operation.
4) You look like Scar from The Lion King.

As a result of these findings, it is with pride that we invite you into the ranks of our prestigious order.

Sincerely,

A real group of Buddy Fuckers.

(Image produced by RangerUp apparel, not my design!)