But despite all of the parties, girls, and school events, the reason that your parents are paying thousands upon thousands of dollars per year for you to be at -insert college here- is so you can learn something in the classroom that will help you get a job four to six years after you graduate (assuming you graduate of course).
So without further delay, let us explore the academic trials and tribulations that you will face as you head into Freshman year.
Before tackling the topics within college academics, the first thing you need to know is what type of student you will run into.
Student type number 1: The kids who spend every waking minute of every day in their text books, or bookworms.
These students are usually one of four majors, any kind of engineering major, nursing, economics, or law. These kids don't not spend much time socializing in the dining hall, do not say much other than the polite "later" when leaving for class and "hello" when they return, and may ask you to turn the music down when they are trying to study. Fortunately for you, Bookworms are usually good roommates. They do not bother you when you need to buckle down and work, they rarely cause drama, and the rare occasions they do party, they are either well composed or so bad that they do something Facebook video worthy. The biggest drawback to a bookworm roommate is when you are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Simply because the bookworms do not want to leave the room. To avoid problems and drama, shoot them a text letting them know of your circumstances. Usually bookworms relocate if they are alerted ahead of time, if they don't, then you ain't getting any that night.
P.S. There is almost no way to avoid being a bookworm if you are one of the four majors above. Unless you have the best time management skills and are always efficient, this will be you if you want to be an engineer, nurse, accountant, or lawyer.
Potential student number 2: The guy/girl who doesn't care about class and parties all the time, or the partyer.
Every group has that one guy or girl who only goes to class for the first day of syllabus week and never goes again. These particular students smoke or drink every day for no reason, are always asleep when they aren't partying, and are always the reason the RA comes knocking on your door on a Wednesday night because they smell weed coming from your room. Partying with this student is always a blast and you guys usually get along. But when Sunday comes and you are trying to get your work done, all this person wants to do is get you to drink or smoke. This student never has above a 2.5 GPA and is disliked by your friend group because they have gotten you all written up at least once. The best way to deal with the partyer is to wait it out because they will eventually pledge a fraternity or sorority and they will be gone long enough for you to get your work done. But stay on good terms with them, so you can get invited to their house parties on weekends.
Potential student type number 3: The student who waits until Sunday to do all of their work, or as I like to call them, the rest of you.
This particular student mold makes up 80-85 percent of college campuses, and they are usually the most chill. The rest of us who are not future engineers, nurses, lawyers, or accountants do not have crippling work loads comparatively. However, poor time management skills and the fact that Facebook is available in the school libraries make most of these students unproductive, even when they try to get work done. These students then spend the remainder of the week complaining about their work load to their friends as they are all playing Madden or talking shit about other people. The simple solution to not becoming this student is to manage your time well. Which is pretty easy considering how much of it you actually have when you are at college.
So now that we covered what types of students you will run into or become, it's time to talk about academic stereotypes. Like all of the topics surrounding college, there are some situations and stereotypes that you will encounter as a college student. Some of these situations are true stereotypes while others remain myths like the lock ness monster, UFO's, and the BCS playoff system. So let's play some fact or fiction to determine which situations actually happen while others are Hollywood ideals.
College Education rumor number 1: College Books are absurdly expensive
FACT
Before tackling the topics within college academics, the first thing you need to know is what type of student you will run into.
Student type number 1: The kids who spend every waking minute of every day in their text books, or bookworms.
These students are usually one of four majors, any kind of engineering major, nursing, economics, or law. These kids don't not spend much time socializing in the dining hall, do not say much other than the polite "later" when leaving for class and "hello" when they return, and may ask you to turn the music down when they are trying to study. Fortunately for you, Bookworms are usually good roommates. They do not bother you when you need to buckle down and work, they rarely cause drama, and the rare occasions they do party, they are either well composed or so bad that they do something Facebook video worthy. The biggest drawback to a bookworm roommate is when you are trying to seduce someone of the opposite sex. Simply because the bookworms do not want to leave the room. To avoid problems and drama, shoot them a text letting them know of your circumstances. Usually bookworms relocate if they are alerted ahead of time, if they don't, then you ain't getting any that night.
P.S. There is almost no way to avoid being a bookworm if you are one of the four majors above. Unless you have the best time management skills and are always efficient, this will be you if you want to be an engineer, nurse, accountant, or lawyer.
Potential student number 2: The guy/girl who doesn't care about class and parties all the time, or the partyer.
Every group has that one guy or girl who only goes to class for the first day of syllabus week and never goes again. These particular students smoke or drink every day for no reason, are always asleep when they aren't partying, and are always the reason the RA comes knocking on your door on a Wednesday night because they smell weed coming from your room. Partying with this student is always a blast and you guys usually get along. But when Sunday comes and you are trying to get your work done, all this person wants to do is get you to drink or smoke. This student never has above a 2.5 GPA and is disliked by your friend group because they have gotten you all written up at least once. The best way to deal with the partyer is to wait it out because they will eventually pledge a fraternity or sorority and they will be gone long enough for you to get your work done. But stay on good terms with them, so you can get invited to their house parties on weekends.
Potential student type number 3: The student who waits until Sunday to do all of their work, or as I like to call them, the rest of you.
This particular student mold makes up 80-85 percent of college campuses, and they are usually the most chill. The rest of us who are not future engineers, nurses, lawyers, or accountants do not have crippling work loads comparatively. However, poor time management skills and the fact that Facebook is available in the school libraries make most of these students unproductive, even when they try to get work done. These students then spend the remainder of the week complaining about their work load to their friends as they are all playing Madden or talking shit about other people. The simple solution to not becoming this student is to manage your time well. Which is pretty easy considering how much of it you actually have when you are at college.
So now that we covered what types of students you will run into or become, it's time to talk about academic stereotypes. Like all of the topics surrounding college, there are some situations and stereotypes that you will encounter as a college student. Some of these situations are true stereotypes while others remain myths like the lock ness monster, UFO's, and the BCS playoff system. So let's play some fact or fiction to determine which situations actually happen while others are Hollywood ideals.
College Education rumor number 1: College Books are absurdly expensive
FACT
If the average college student takes 15-16 credits or 5-6 classes per semester the projected average book costs should be between $500-$900 depending on your major and whether or not a professor wants you to get more than one book for the class. Some professors are nice and let you know ahead of time that you do not need the book for the class, while others take their lessons from the book word for word. Speaking of professors taking the text word for word, any college professor worth half of their paycheck will give you some form of test from the book. If you cannot afford the book, buy it online (Amazon.com and Chegg.com are two good sites to get books from) or befriend someone who did buy the book. Also, if become study buddies with someone of the opposite sex, you could end up doing more than just studying if you play your cards right.
Speaking of professors, college education rumor number 2: The professors are more organized and better prepared to teach their classes.
THAT IS ONE BIG HEAPING PILE OF FICTION
Remember the high school teacher you had that was a jerk that taught you nothing and made up things for tests that the class did not cover? Well guess what? These teachers exist in college as well! But wait there is more. In addition to not teaching you anything and making things up for tests, some teachers add arbitrary rules to their classes to make them so much more fun. One example of these arbitrary rules in the classroom comes from a female classmate of mine who had this old battleaxe. Whenever she would hand the old fart a paper, if the staple was not PRECISELY 1/4 of an inch away from the edge of a page, HE WOULD GIVE HER AN "F" WITHOUT READING THE PAPER.
So how do you follow all of the madness? Write down everything the professor says and talk to people who had the professor before. You will then learn what to do to succeed in a difficult class. To avoid crappy professors, hit up ratemyprofessor.com to get reviews of every professor teaching classes that you want to take.
College Education rumor number 3: The Library is the best place to do work
FICTION
This usually depends on the school and the people, but at my school, the library is one of the least productive places on the entire campus. Students are either on Facebook, playing Angry Birds, or on Youtube avoiding their work at all possible costs (see Student type number 3 for more info). I contend that dorm rooms are usually better places to work because you have almost all of the same internet sources available to you online and there fewer people to tune out. Plus, you do not have to pay the school for printing anything if you use your own printer. If you cannot avoid going to the library, go alone. Study groups always break down and after 20 or so minutes of talking, the group migrates to the cafeteria and the work remains unfinished.
College Education Rumor number 4: Class sizes are bigger
FACT
Unless you are taking an unpopular major, the smallest class size you will likely encounter at an average sized school will be 24-26 students. But yes, the huge classes of about 100-200 students do exist, and you may have to take one or two in your college career. However, the huge classes are either core classes everyone has to take, or a specific class everyone in a certain major has to take. Professors who teach the 100-200 student class will not remember your name and will not take role call because the process would take about 10 minutes. Another aspect of the 100-200 kid class to watch out for is the fact that the professor will not stop the lesson for any questions during class. But if you approach the professor after class, usually you can get the answer to your question without an issue. The key to surviving these classes are taking good notes, staying awake, and doing well on tests. You can afford a little slack on homework because 99% of big lecture professors don't collect homework, but that makes the tests all the more critical.
So how do you survive the manic world of college academics? It's pretty simple actually. Here are the best steps to take to excelling as a student.
So that covers pretty much everything from the academic perspective of college. Hopefully you all will make something of yourselves and help America once you all make it to the real world.
Topics still to be covered
Speaking of professors, college education rumor number 2: The professors are more organized and better prepared to teach their classes.
THAT IS ONE BIG HEAPING PILE OF FICTION
Remember the high school teacher you had that was a jerk that taught you nothing and made up things for tests that the class did not cover? Well guess what? These teachers exist in college as well! But wait there is more. In addition to not teaching you anything and making things up for tests, some teachers add arbitrary rules to their classes to make them so much more fun. One example of these arbitrary rules in the classroom comes from a female classmate of mine who had this old battleaxe. Whenever she would hand the old fart a paper, if the staple was not PRECISELY 1/4 of an inch away from the edge of a page, HE WOULD GIVE HER AN "F" WITHOUT READING THE PAPER.
So how do you follow all of the madness? Write down everything the professor says and talk to people who had the professor before. You will then learn what to do to succeed in a difficult class. To avoid crappy professors, hit up ratemyprofessor.com to get reviews of every professor teaching classes that you want to take.
College Education rumor number 3: The Library is the best place to do work
FICTION
This usually depends on the school and the people, but at my school, the library is one of the least productive places on the entire campus. Students are either on Facebook, playing Angry Birds, or on Youtube avoiding their work at all possible costs (see Student type number 3 for more info). I contend that dorm rooms are usually better places to work because you have almost all of the same internet sources available to you online and there fewer people to tune out. Plus, you do not have to pay the school for printing anything if you use your own printer. If you cannot avoid going to the library, go alone. Study groups always break down and after 20 or so minutes of talking, the group migrates to the cafeteria and the work remains unfinished.
College Education Rumor number 4: Class sizes are bigger
FACT
Unless you are taking an unpopular major, the smallest class size you will likely encounter at an average sized school will be 24-26 students. But yes, the huge classes of about 100-200 students do exist, and you may have to take one or two in your college career. However, the huge classes are either core classes everyone has to take, or a specific class everyone in a certain major has to take. Professors who teach the 100-200 student class will not remember your name and will not take role call because the process would take about 10 minutes. Another aspect of the 100-200 kid class to watch out for is the fact that the professor will not stop the lesson for any questions during class. But if you approach the professor after class, usually you can get the answer to your question without an issue. The key to surviving these classes are taking good notes, staying awake, and doing well on tests. You can afford a little slack on homework because 99% of big lecture professors don't collect homework, but that makes the tests all the more critical.
So how do you survive the manic world of college academics? It's pretty simple actually. Here are the best steps to take to excelling as a student.
- In college, you will have more time on your hands then ever before, so make that time work for you instead of against you. If you stay ahead of your work, you will have ample time to party, join clubs, and whatever else suits your fancy.
- Make a schedule for when you can do your work and keep track of important due dates. If you know when things are due, you know just how much time you have to do them.
- Try to avoid doing more than two different assignments in one day. Taking on more than two different assignments per day will ultimately lessen the quality of work you put into the it. And ultimately, the less time you put into an important assignment, the worse your grade will be.
- Take a break from work when you are tired. Contrary to popular belief, breaks are a good thing. They keep your mind from overworking itself and you can grab something to eat in the meantime to give yourself more energy.
- Get a good night's sleep as often as possible. If you can get at least six hours of sleep before your first class every day it is less likely that you will fall asleep during class.
So that covers pretty much everything from the academic perspective of college. Hopefully you all will make something of yourselves and help America once you all make it to the real world.
Topics still to be covered
- Freshman 15
- Friends vs. "Friends"
- How to Handle difficult college situations (girls/guys, RA's, roomates)
- How to Handle long distance relationships when you both go to different colleges.
- And a Grog special, How much to tell your parents about your college life when they ask about your semester.
Until next time you hooligans.
