The Situation - Zombie Apocalypse
You are in your room in your closest major city (In my case Boston). Everything you own is here and you are comfortably sitting by a window reading a good book in your lounge chair. You had been pretty engrossed in your book, however you were suddenly drawn out of it by the sound of screaming. Your head snaps towards the window and in all of the chaos you witness your city burning. In the streets, people are fleeing or shooting wildly into crowds and, although it is hard to tell, you believe you see zombies. They are of a slow variety, the old school rotting type; they are slow, stupid, hurt by the light, and can not swim. They have voracious appetites, however most people can walk faster than they can shamble. After you take all of this in you decide that you should stay put for a while and let things clear up outside because you are much more likely to get trampled or shot by people then eaten by a zombie out there. You spend the night in your room and wake up to find the streets deserted, some of the zombies have moved on and others have hidden for the day. Unfortunately smoke is pouring in from underneath your door and it seems you have very little time. You are able to put on some sturdy clothes and pack five objects into a bag before your door bursts into flames (please name the objects, you do not need five). You descend from the fire escape into the city below, now what is your plan to survive?
The Plan
My Objects
Extra pair of Boots: I'm going to need to take care of my feet if I hope to survive on the lamb. Hopefully...and I'm cheating a little bit here, my boots that I'm putting into my ruck already have Dr. Scholl's (Gellin like a felon) foot pads and foot powder inside of them.
Leatherman Multi-Tool: This thing has helped me get through every job I've ever had and was my go-to utility of choice for my 12+ years of Boy Scouting (both me and Cam are Eagles..so I'd like to side up with him in the Zombie Apocalypse). It's not just a knife, the Leatherman (I have the old Wave) has: 1) A straight edge knife 2) A serrated blade knife 3) Needlenose Pliers 4) Wire Cutters 5) Wire Stripper 6) Screw Driver 7) Bottle/Can Opener 8) A Filer 9) Saw blade 10) Scissors.
Duct Tape: incredibly useful, but also, with duct tape and a sweater you can make an armor that resists a human's bite force......I agree with Cam on this one.
Sleeping Bag/Tent: I pack both of them together....so its really not cheating.
A Fucking Crowbar: While Cam seems to favor the "strong and light", I want a little bit more power and weight behind my zombie bashing. Also, I can use the Crowbar to wrench open doors, rip up nails and use it for all the things it's supposed to be used for.
My Plan
Assuming I'm in Boston, I'm going to want to try and get near the water and find a dock. Normally facing a horde of zombies and water to my back wouldn't be favorable, but remember we're talking about the dumb and slow type who can't swim. If I'm at a gated dock, that's pretty good, if I'm at the last boat on the pier I'll be able to see 'em coming.
Obviously..I'm going to need food, and assuming we're in a good season (summer), I'm going to grab as many fishing crap as I can find, and grab a sail boat (this is assuming there's a sail boat at this pier..otherwise I'm grabbing a dingy..being a trooper..and rowing out). I can fish for my food, but I'm going to try and occasionally dock..or throw anchor and row in, to find food where-ever I can. I could probably hit up an EMS or REI and take all of their freeze-dried food, as I don't think a whole lot of people would even think of that in the first place. While there, I can also pick up more camping supplies (propane, propane ovens, tents, all weather gear, binoculars, etc.
More like Expensive Mountain Sports
AHAHAHAHA...HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE
Cam's idea of heading North is smart, but I think I'm going to travel down South along the coast line when winter starts rolling in.
I'm going to want to get a gun at some point, and obviously if we're talking apocalypse here, I can't really be picky in terms of what I come across. However: If I could choose my weapon of choice, I'm thinking I'd go with a .22 Rifle. The ammo is beyond plentiful, the noise is minimal, the accuracy is second to none, and the recoil is absolutely manageable. I'd rather have a semi-automatic than a bolt-action, and I'm not sure I really need to worry about getting my "bang for my buck" (we're talking calibers here).
While it's true that anything .357 above is going to make any normal person drop...we're obviously not talking about normal people. There's no blood flow in the zombie, so it doesn't matter how many rounds I put in center mass or towards an artery, unless I'm hitting the spine (maybe? does that work with zombies?) that isn't going to work. I'd rather be far away picking off zombies with minimal sound.
If I've got to get up close and personal though, I'm going to have to pick a bigger caliber over the .22. If I'm within biting distance of a zombie, inflicting massive trauma on already dying flesh of a limb is more important to me than the precision head-shot. It'll be harder for Mr. Zombie to bite me if he's hobbling around on a blown off knee-cap. I'd be happy with anything .357+, although .357 magnum revolver frame pistols can also fire the .38 special round, which gives me a bit of leeway in terms of reliance on ammunition.
I would deserve to be eaten alive if I was using this.
I like Cam's idea of dynamic movement and nomad-ing it out, but I think I'd want to eventually come to settle at a static position. Get a house in the middle of a field..build a bunch of bear pits around it, because let's be honest...I'm not going to get fricken Claymores, and set up signs warning the living. Barricade the stairs, set up a shit-load of ladders..etc etc etc. Or....check out #5 on this Cracked.com article: http://www.cracked.com/article_19286_9-houses-you-wont-believe-people-actually-live-in.html
....that is absurd....ly awesome.
Well, that's just about it. I may have been able to put more effort into it...but Deadliest Warrior: Joan of Arc vs. William the Conqueror is coming on soon...and you get the idea...also side note: last episode was ah....not historically accurate in terms of that outcome.
--Fin--
